


Small time crimes

by rdalvi



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-01-29 00:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12619120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rdalvi/pseuds/rdalvi
Summary: All Kara had to do was look for a lost cat for a little girl. But lost cats can be notoriously difficult to find.





	1. The hunt for Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t watch the show too often but I felt like writing a Supergirl story so you can consider this an AU even though a few characters for the show will definitely show up.

“Caramel Macchiato, Venti, Skim, Extra Shot, Extra-Hot, Extra-Whip, Sugar-Free.” Kara said out loud as she sat upright on her bed with beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

She’d been dreaming that she was once again running errands for Kat Grant. She was glad that she’d moved on from that and was now a full fledged reporter. Even though she did miss Kat, she’d learnt a lot from her, she didn’t miss the complicated coffee runs to Starbucks.

It was a Saturday and she’d taken the day off from work. She’d been out late last night trying to stop a bank robbery. Kara sometimes wished that criminals wouldn’t work late nights, that way she wouldn’t be permanently sleep deprived but that was the life she’d chosen to lead.

She got up and stretched. Her muscles weren’t too happy about it. They were still recovering from all the gunshots from last night. Even though bullets never caused her any permanent damage they did make her body sore and she’s gotten shot a lot the previous night. The robbers has been packing some major heat. Everything from sub machine guns to bazookas. She even had a slight headache from getting shot in the head more than a couple of times. She didn’t like that. It always left her with a temporary ringing in her ears and a headache that felt like a hangover. Kara wished she would get her hangovers the usual way, from actually drinking, and not from getting shot in the head. She’d also taken a headshot at almost point blank range which had seriously pissed her off. Kara knew she was going to have to apologise later to the National City police department for hanging the lead bank robber from the spire a skyscraper. It must have been a pain for them to get him down, but she really didn’t like getting shot in the head. Definitely not at close range.

The late night combined with the bullet hits had made her sleep in late. It was almost noon by the time she rolled out of bed in a hunt for coffee to try and get rid of the bullet induced hangover. There was little left over from yesterday evening after she’d returned from work. It didn't taste particularly good but she was feeling too lazy to make a fresh pot.

She gulped it down.

The coffee didn’t work as advertised. But then it was also well past it’s expiry date. Kara decided she would just go for a short flight. The warmth of the sun might be enough to charge her up and she wouldn’t crave coffee anymore.

She was wrong. She had seriously underestimated her craving for coffee.

* * *

 

After about twenty minutes of flying lazy circles around the city, she found herself floating in a single spot and realised that all she was doing was trying to spot a Starbucks. She did spot a few cafes but maybe it was the dream that was making her crave Starbucks instead of just regular coffee.

Kara knew there was one close to where she lived but it was always crowded and she couldn’t go there dressed as Supergirl. She would just end up spending twenty minutes signing autographs and posing for selfies before she would actually be able to get her coffee and she didn’t feel like flying back home and changing into ordinary clothing, so she floated up there trying to spot the least crowded Starbucks.

And she did.

It was near a suburban neighbourhood and luckily there was also a donut shop next to it. Her stomach grumbled to inform her that just a coffee wasn’t going to cut it and she agreed with her stomach.

* * *

 

Kara landed in a small alley behind the Starbucks. There were a few kids near the coffee shop and she did get a few stares but no one decided to approach her and she was grateful for that. She entered the coffee shop and it had a grand total of three customers and two employees. Two of those customers had their heads buried in their cellphones and the third was busy staring at her laptop. Probably answering some work emails. They were all too busy to notice a superhero entering the shop.

Kara Zor-El walked up to the counter. Her cape gently swaying behind her. The sun shining behind her made her look rather picturesque as if she’d just stepped out of a comic book panel.

“Coffee” she said as she stepped up to the panel.

“What kind?” the young woman at the counter asked as she stared at her costume.

“Aaaa.... no foam latte with caramel” the Kryptonian replied.

“No foam latte with caramel” the woman behind the counter shouted at her partner who was standing no more than five feet away.

Kara took out her credit card to pay.

“That’s a nice costume. Looks very authentic. Fancy dress party?” The woman asked.

“Yeah, lasted pretty late and thanks.” Kara replied and smiled coyly.

“Where did you get it?”

“I made it myself. Well... a friend helped me out.”

“You and your friend did a great job. It’s very impressive. I really like the texture of it. The slight wear and tear gives it a very natural feel.”

Kara looked down at her dress. The woman was right about the wear and tear. The suit had seen its fair share of action. She was going to have to repair it a bit.

As Kara was inspecting her cape, the woman kept staring at her and a thought slowly swept it’s way into her mind. Could it be that the woman she was talking to was the real deal? Could she really be Supergirl? Her brain told her there was no harm in asking and so she did.

She cleared her throat to try and get Kara’s attention away from her cape. Kara looked up, expecting her coffee to have arrived instead was faced with another question.

“You’re not HER.... are you?” The woman behind the counter leaned forward and whispered.

“Who?” Kara whispered back pretending to not understand the question.

The woman looked around to see if anyone was watching her. Seeing that the coast was clear she thrust one arm in the air and said, “Up, Up and away.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not a dude.” Kara gently mocked the woman.

“Nooo... I meant...”

“I know, I was kidding. And no I’m not HER. But I’m flattered you think I look like her.”

“No, I thought not.” The woman sighed. She looked a little disappointed.

Kara felt bad for lying to her but she really didn’t want the attention at the moment.

“Could you imagine though, someone like that actually walking in here.” The young woman shook off her disappointment and continued the conversation.

“That would so wild, right?” Kara replied.

“Yeah. But... you think she drinks coffee. She’s not from here, you know.”

Kara stared back at her.

“I mean, Earth. Like, do they even eat food?”

“I wouldn’t know.” Kara shrugged in response.

“I guess not. But you’re right, it would have been wild if she would have actually walked in here and ordered coffee. It would have been the highlight of my year.”

At that moment Kara got distracted by the smell of hot coffee.

The woman took her cup and handed it to her.

“Sorry for being this chatty, it’s been a slow day. Honestly, they’re all slow days.”

“It’s fine. I can’t say I mind being mistaken for a superhero.” Kara smiled, took her coffee and just as she was about to walk out she saw someone making a poor attempt at trying to enter the shop.

The newcomer on the scene trying to open the door had the look of man who’d turned an amateur drug habit into a professional one and was now figuring out a way to sponsor said habit. After a few attempts the junkie finally managed to get the door open and stepped in. His clothes looked more worn out than he did which was something of an achievement and he had right hand shoved into deep into left side of his jacket. Kara turned on her x-ray vision and she could clearly see the gun he was holding. Before either one of them could make a move their eyes met.

The man froze in his tracks. Just like the woman behind the counter he wasn’t sure if the he was facing the real thing or a facsimile. Kara let her eyes glow red for a brief moment to confirm that she was indeed the real deal. The man immediately turned around and ran out of the store to a car that was parked by the curb. Kara could see had a compatriot behind the wheel.

“Go.” Said the man to his to his junkie wheelman as he got into the car.

“Why, where’s the money?” The wheelman asked.

“Just go. It’s that bitch Supergirl. She’s in there.”

“What, you sure?”

“Yeah, just go.”

And the car drove off.

“Bitch.” Kara said to herself. That’s the thanks she got after she’d been kind enough to let him walk away. She memorised the make and the number of the car. If she ever ran into the man again she was going to have to teach him how to address woman.

She turned around and saw the woman at the counter trying to figure out what just happened.

“I guess he just wasn’t in the mood for coffee.” Kara said as she walked out of the store.

As she stood outside the glass panel taking a sip of the hot coffee she could feel the woman’s eyes on her. She took an exaggerated flight pose and stared at the Starbucks girl who was looking back at her with wide eyes and then just ran out of the frame. Her super hearing allowed to catch the young woman’s chuckle, who for a second had almost expected her to take flight like the real thing and a few minutes later Kara actually did. With her coffee and a dozen donuts from the donuts shop, she flew right past the Starbucks. She would have given anything in the world to have seen the young woman’s expression who just realised that she had indeed been talking to the real thing and that the Real Thing liked “No foam latte with Caramel.”

Kara was pretty sure that within the week the sale for Caramel coffee was going to go through the roof. Starbucks might even rebrand it to the Supergirl Coffee or something like that. If nothing else, at least the young employee would have something to talk about for the rest of the year.

* * *

  
Having successfully ended her hunt for coffee Kara was immediately faced with a new dilemma.

How exactly was she going to eat all of this?

She couldn't eat it in mid-air.

Kara was going to have to land somewhere and she had no intentions of landing in a park, that would just attract too much attention. She floated awkwardly in the clouds holding her coffee and her box of donuts trying to find a secluded spot. Kara looked down at the suburban neighbourhood where all the houses looked as if they’d been taken of an assembly line. They all had well manicured lawns, a mid-range car in the driveway and all the houses had a similar paint job. All except one. In the corner of a cul-de-sac stood a house with worn out paint job, an overgrown lawn and no car in the pockmarked concrete driveway. Kara deduced that the only reason for its dilapidated look could be attributed to the lack of any occupants or at least that’s what she hoped. She was tempted to use her x-ray vision to scan the house but she didn’t want invade anyone’s privacy in case the house did have an occupant. She just hoped that her deductions were right and decided it was as good a place as any to have her coffee. Kara figured she could use the sloping roof of the house as a place to finish her meal. She spotted a patch of the roof that looked sturdy enough to take her weight and landed gently on the rooftop to enjoy her coffee and donuts.

Just as she was taking her first sip she saw that her landing hadn’t gone unnoticed. A little boy of no more than six to seven years stood in a well manicured lawn facing the dilapidated house on which she’d landed. He was staring at her as if he’d seen a ghost or most likely his first superhero encounter.

She smiled and waved at him as she shoved a donut in her mouth.

“Hi.” Kara said.

“Mooommmm.” the kid screamed and ran into the house to which the well manicured lawn belonged.

A few minutes later the mom was dragged out of the house by the little kid. She too stood there staring at Kara.

The kryptonian waved at both of them.

The woman stepped forward and shouted, “How did you get up there?”

Kara stared back at her incredulously.

“I didn’t..... I flew down.”

The woman stared back at here. Her brain trying to make sense of the sentence she’d just heard. Kara could understand the poor woman’s confusion and to help her understand she gently floated off the roof while trying to ensure that she didn’t spill her coffee.

The woman’s face finally lit up with recognition.

“You’re Supergirl.” She exclaimed with joy.

“Of course, what did you think?”

“I don't know, we sometimes get kids trying to play pranks.”

“You don’t mind do you, me sitting here? I just wanted to finish my coffee.” Kara asked as she finished her sixth donut.

“No, no, not at all. It’s not everyday we get a superhero around here.” Replied the middle aged woman, “I did see you once in National City. You were fighting some alien. I even have a video of it on my cell phone. I showed it to all my friends at the book club. We meet every Thursday.” The woman informed Kara.

Kara just smiled and nodded in reply as she shoved another donut in her face. She sat there in silence hoping the woman would leave her alone to finish her meal but both the mother and son just stood there staring at her as if they’d spotted an exotic animal at the zoo.

Eventually they realised it was getting really awkward watching their local superhero sit on a rooftop eating donuts and drinking coffee so they just waved at her and went back into the house. Kara heaved as sigh of relief but a few seconds later she saw them peeking at her through their window. Pretty soon she could spot faces half hidden behind curtains spying on her from least half a dozen houses in her immediate vicinity. Kara guessed the woman had called her friends to inform them of the arrival of their local superhero. They were definitely going to have something fun to discuss at their weekly book club meetings. Kara didn’t care, as long no one stepped out to strike a conversation. She just wanted to finish her late breakfast in relative peace and quiet. But the peace and quiet wasn’t meant to last for long. Just as she was attacking her final donut she heard a sound.

It was the sound of a little girl crying and a man trying to console her and Kara got curious. 


	2. Mister Grumpy has been kidnapped

Supergirl floated over suburbia.

She was trying to locate the source of the little girl’s crying. She could hear her but the sound was getting bounced off the houses which was making it difficult for her to pinpoint the source. Also seeing the semi circular gridwork of cookie cutter residences was making it hard for her to distinguish one house from another. Eventually it was the police that helped narrow down her search. Kara saw a patrol car pull out of the driveway of a house that was three rows away from where she floated. She could see a man standing in the driveway holding a little girl’s hand who after a little struggle tore her arm away and ran back into the house.

Kara wondered if she should fly down and offer her services, but she had always been one for preventing crimes and not solving one. The solving part was more Batgirl’s forte. However, what made Kara a hero wasn’t the fact that she could punch her way through an entire planet, if she wanted, but the fact that she genuinely wanted to help people and so she flew down towards the house.

Supergirl landed gently on the driveway. There were a few neighbours out on the street chatting with each other, most likely gossiping about what had transpired. However once they spotted her, Kara could hear her name being whispered among the crowd. She ignored the onlookers and walked up to the house and rang the doorbell.

Supergirl stood in the porch and looked around. There was a small swing which was strewn with stuffed toys. Even the floor was littered with a variety of toys and games. Her last year as a reporter had improved her detective skills and she looked around trying to deduce the nature of the crime. There didn’t seem to be any kind of damage to the door nor to its surrounding frame. She wondered what exactly might have happened. Kara turned around to look into the lawn. The lawn current occupant was a toy horse which lay on its side looking back at her with its dead painted eyes. The lawn itself was surrounded by a four foot high hedge which separated the house from the street. She looked up and saw the neighbours immediately turn away and pretending to talk amongst themselves, as if they weren’t hanging around to get a glimpse of their local superhero. A few of them even hid away their cell phones. Kara was sure that social media was already being flooded with images and videos of her standing outside a small suburban home.

Supergirl finally heard the sound of the door unlocking.

A man in his late twenties opened the door. Kara could still hear the little girl sobbing in the background but she couldn’t see her. The man stepped slightly out of the door frame and then just stood there staring at her.

Kara noticed that he was staring up at her and came to the realisation that she was floating up off the floor. Of late she had gotten in the habit of absentmindedly floating whenever she was bored or nervous but it at least saved her from introducing herself. It wasn’t often that one would receive a guest that floated a foot up off the floor.

“Supergirl....” the man hesitantly spoke.

“Hi, how can I be of assistance?” Kara landed and asked him in a most courteous tone.

“What?” Now he was completely confused.

“I heard your daughter cry and saw the cop car pull out of your driveway. I was flying by and I figured I might be able to help.”

“Aaaa.... it’s nothing really. We had a robbery.”

Kara looked around but she still couldn’t spot any indication of any kind of break-in. The man noticed that and spoke.

“They stole my car. A whole bunch of them have been stolen in the last few months. I think mine is the thirteenth.”

“Is that why your daughter is crying?”

“Oh no, it’s because of Mr. Grumpy, her cat. It was in the car. The thieves took off with the car and the cat.”

At that exact moment Kara heard the little girl scream from inside the house, “I want Mister Grumpy.” And then went back to howling.

It was a most ear piercing scream and having super hearing didn’t do Supergirl any favours.

“When did this happen?” Kara asked as she tried to stop the ringing in her ears.

“Sometime last night, I guess.”

Kara paused a second.

“And the cops only showed up now?”

It was almost one o'clock.

“Yeah, they said they were busy. They gave some strange reasons, that they had to get somebody down from a skyscraper. Someone was stuck on top of one. I don’t know. It just sounded weird, but then we’ve had two alien invasions in the last couple of years so a man stuck on the top of a skyscraper doesn't sound all that strange anymore.”

Kara chuckled and nodded uncomfortably. She knew exactly who was stuck and how he’d gotten there.

“I guess not.” Kara replied.

They both stared at each other awkwardly as the conversation came to an abrupt end until Kara remembered why she was there.

“Look, I'm going to help get your daughter's cat back and your car.” Kara said as she kickstarted the conversation again.

The man looked at her stunned by her declaration.

“What? You really don't need to, Supergirl. I’m very sure the cops will figure it out, eventually. I’m sure you’ve better things to do.”

“Look, I live in this city the same as you. If I’m going to defend this city I can’t pick and choose which crimes to handle. This is my city and I will defend everyone in it.” Kara said as she put her arms on her waist and struck the classic superhero pose.

Kara gave a sharp nod and took off leaving the man standing in his porch gawking as she flew off into the sun.

 

***

 

Supergirl flew up in the afternoon sun feeling great, she felt all heroic and filled with purpose but that feeling lasted all of five seconds until the realisation dawned on her that she didn’t actually know how to proceed. Her brain was no help, it seemed to be taking the day off. The coffee had managed to wake her up but it hadn’t made any more functional than she was before her caffeine intake.

Kara Zor-el once again floated above the clouds trying to figure out her next step. She had been doing that a lot today. She definitely needed help and she knew exactly who to call. Kara pulled out her phone from her shoes and placed the call. The phone on the other end rang for while before someone answered it.

“Have I reached the Bat phone?” Kara asked in a mock serious tone.

“Commissioner Gordon, you sound very different today. Have you been doing Helium again? ” Replied the woman on the other end.

Kara laughed.

“Hey, Barb.” Kara chuckled.

“Hey, Kar. Been a while.”

“Yeah, you know, busy, busy, busy. Fighting aliens and what not.”

“I know. I saw it on TV. You get to do aaaalllll the fun stuff. The most fun I’ve had this year was hanging Poison Ivy upside down by her vines.” Barbara Gordon replied.

Kara sniggered. It was nice to have super friends. She could talk openly without worrying about accidentally revealing her true identity. The friend she’d called was one of her oldest and closest ones, Batgirl.

“So, what can I do for you? Unless you just called to chat.” Batgirl inquired.

“Well.... I needed some help. That’s if you’re not too busy. I know Gotham can be a handful at times.” Supergirl replied.

“Oh no. It’s been really slow of late. Last month Bats went all ballistic. We threw every major super villain into Arkham and half the mob into prison. The remaining half seems to have gone on an extended vacation. All we’ve got left are a few pickpockets and shoplifters, I’m bored out of my fucking mind.”

“Oh that’s excellent, because I need your help on a case.”

“Yay. What is it? Alien invasion, terrorist attack, political scandal.” Barbara exclaimed.

“Aaaa...I’m looking for a cat.”

There was a fairly long pause at the other end of the line.

“Seriously, is this what we’ve come down to.”

“It is for a little girl.” Kara tried to justify her quest.

“Nah, I’m kidding. I rescued a puppy last week,” Batgirl said triumphantly, “It was so cute. I’ll send you pics later. You’ll love him.”

“Did you keep him?” Kara sounded really excited. She loved puppies. Who didn’t.

“No, I had to return him to her owner.” Barbara replied.

“Awwww.” Kara sounded sad because she couldn’t fly over and play with the puppy and then realised she was getting distracted.

“Oh and it’s not just a cat.” Kara brought the conversation back on track.

“Ooh, the mystery thickens, tell me more.”

“There’s also a car involved.”

“What, the cat stole a car?” Barabara mocked her kryptonian friend.

“Noooo.”

“Kara, you’re not making a lot of sense.”

“Ok, here’s the thing. I think there’s a gang of thieves stealing cars from a neighbourhood. This is the thirteenth that they’ve stolen in the past couple of months. This time the owner’s daughter's cat was in the car when it got stolen. So I promised to bring it back. There, does that make sense.” Kara took in a felt a little breathless after that long monologue.

“That's much better. So are we going after the cat or do we recover the car too.”

“Why are you making fun of me? I'm serious about this.”

“I'm sorry, I'm just bored. I've been cataloguing books all day. Ok, in all seriousness, where do you want to start?” Barbara asked.

For a moment Kara had forgotten that Barbara's day job was working at the Gotham City library.

“That's the problem. I don't know where to start, which is why I called you.”

“Alright, that's fine. Ok first question, what kind of a cat are we looking for?” Barbara asked as she went into detective mode.

There was a long pause from Kara’s end.

“Aaaa.... I don't know. I forgot to ask.” Kara replied sheepishly.

“That's fine. What's the make of the car and the owner's name?”

This question was followed by an even longer pause.

“No idea.”

“Address?”

“No idea?”

“Kara, come on, we're supposed to be superheroes for fuck sake.”

The embarrassed kryptonian could almost see Batgirl facepalming.

“I know, I know. Look I'm just going to go back and ask details.”

“No, don't do that. It will just make you look unprofessional.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's ok. We've all had our off days.”

“So now what, where do we begin?”

“If you can tell me where you are, I can get into the National City police department server and get information regarding the stolen car.”

“You have access to the police servers?” Kara whispered. Even though she didn't know why exactly she whispered, she was floating twenty thousand feet in the air. It's not like anyone was going to hear her. Maybe the NSA was listening.

“Yeah. Bruce wanted me build a backdoor into the Gotham City police servers. I went a little overboard and built backdoors into every major law enforcement agency across the globe.” Barbara answered. She sounded very proud of her achievement.

“Is that legal?”

“Nope”

“OK”

Kara paused for a second and passed on the street address to Barbara.

“Alright, I'm going to look into this and see if I can find which cars have been stolen in the area.”

“You think you'll find some lead as to who did it.” Kara asked.

“I doubt that. If the cops haven't gotten anything in two months it means that they don't have anything to go on.”

“Then what do I do?” She wanted to be more productive.

“Well if you want find a criminal, the best thing is to talk to other criminals.”

“Meaning”

“Meaning you find the closest lowlife and you squeeze.”

“That I can do.” Kara grinned and replied.

“Oh and Kara...”

“Yeah?”

“With your strength, just don't squeeze too hard.”

Kara laughed and put the phone down.

 

  
***

 

Supergirl was once again faced with a new dilemma. This had been a day for dilemmas. Her new one was very simple one for a superhero but her current location made it complicated.

Where does one find a lowlife?

She was floating above a suburban neighbourhood. Even though Kara was sure it had its assortment of perverts and white collar criminals but those weren’t the sort of lowlifes she was looking for and for once Lady Luck was smiling upon her. She saw a extremely loud 80s model Blue Camaro driving down the street, with enough smoke coming out of it’s exhaust to kill the entire neighbourhood. Kara immediately recognised it as the same car that the junkie had gotten into and escaped. The same junkie who’d tried to rob the Starbucks.

The car was making enough noise to wake up the whole area. The blue color of the car had turned into a dull brown. It had layers of dirt that looked like it dated back to the 80s and by the noise it was making it seemed in dire need of repair. It looked as if it was getting by on hope and prayers and a fair bit of chewing gum and tape, however the two occupants of the car didn’t seem to be bothered by it. On most days the two of them could barely summon up the enthusiasm to clean the car let alone worry about its maintenance.

Kara decided to follow them just out of curiosity. She wanted to know what they were up to and as it turned out they lived up to being lowlifes.

They were upto no good.

She saw them park on an empty street. They sat in the car for a few minutes just to make sure that the coast was clear. Then the two occupants of the car got out and made their way towards a large SUV parked across the street. One of them had a large metal strip in his hand. Kara figured they were going to try and steal the car.

“Could they be the car thieves I’m looking for?” Kara asked herself but they looked far too incompetent.

They didn’t possess the steadiest hands either. That could be attributed to an exclusive diet of Meth and Coke which they’d both followed for years and the results of that showed on their face and bodies.

The Kryptonian looked on as they struggled to get the metal strip between the glass and the door. So far all they’d managed to do was severely scratch the paint job. Kara wasn’t even sure if that metal strip technique even worked. Maybe the two of them had just seen too many movies. After seeing them successfully scratch the door beyond recognition Kara decided maybe she should lend a hand and flew down to give them one.

As the two meth heads desperately tried to get the car door open, Supergirl gently floated down behind them so as not to scare them.

“You need a hand with that?” She asked as she floated behind them.

They both jumped and turned around to see who’d spoken to them, at the same time trying rather unsuccessfully to hide the metal strip behind their backs. Upon seeing who was behind them they both grinned at the newcomer revealing their yellow crooked teeth. They both could have been the same age, but that was a little difficult to tell due to the years of substance abuse. The one holding the metal strip was slightly shorter than his partner at around five feet six inches. His partner was a couple of inches taller. The taller man had dirty blonde hair but they could have just been dirty. The shorter man had dirty black hair. The stubble on their faces revealed that neither of them had shaved in quite a few days and the smell that assaulted Supergirl extremely sensitive nose revealed that they probably hadn’t bathed for an even longer duration. Neither of them was in particularly good shape. They were scrawny, their eyes had sunken into their faces. They could almost get jobs as scarecrows. Kara felt slightly bad for them.

“Motherfucker” the tall one exclaimed.

“Language.” Kara disciplined them.

“Sorry.... Supergirl?” The taller man apologised and asked as his friend tried to sneak away.

Kara shot him a stern look and he froze in his tracks.

“You know any other girl who can fly?” Kara shot back.

Even though the question was meant to be a joke, Kara saw that she’d actually put the two gentlemen into deep thought. After a few seconds of deep thinking the shorter man spoke.

“I think Honey floated once. Maybe Candy too. I can’t be too sure. I was really high. What do you think man?” He asked his friend.

“Nooo, I’m pretty sure it was Cindy who floated.” He replied.

It seemed that they’d forgotten that Supergirl was even there. Kara cleared her throat to remind them of that fact.

“Hi. Aaaa.... what did you want?” The blonde asked.

“I said do you want a hand with that.” Kara was already starting to lose her patience.

“With what?” They both asked. They looked really confused.

“You were trying to open that car. I was wondering if you needed a hand with that?”

“Aaaa.... we’re not trying to open the car?”

“No?” Supergirl said with an arched eyebrow.

“No... no, this is our car.” The blonde replied.

Kara was starting to think that maybe she should just drop the two of them at the nearest precinct and find some other lowlifes. Ones that possessed a functioning IQ.

“This is your car?”

“Yes.” They both replied triumphantly. In their minds they had managed to fool Supergirl. The reality was diametrically opposite.

“Then whose car is that?” Kara asked as she pointed towards the old Camaro on the street.

“That’s his car?” The blonde pointed towards his shorter friend.

“Ah, And what would you be called then?” Supergirl inquired.

“Beevis.” The shorter man replied.

Kara tried hard not to smile.

“So that would make you...?”

“Eddie.” The blonde replied. He definitely wasn’t clued in to the joke.

“Alright Eddie, if this is your car, where are the keys?”

“Aaa... I locked them inside?” He didn’t seem too sure of himself. It was too early for Eddie’s brain to work this much. Frankly any time of day was too early for Eddie.

“Ah, and Beevis here is helping you get them out?” Kara helped him out.

“Yessss.” Beevis jumped into the conversation.

“Well, that makes complete sense.”

“Yeah man, so you’re going to help us get the car open?” Eddie looked up at her, eyes filled with hope.

“No.”

“But you said, you’d help.” They both looked like hurt puppies.

“Yes, I’m going to help the two of you get to where you belong.”

“To the mall?” Beevis asked, his eyes filled with hope.

“No, to prison.”

“Nooooo, we don't want to go to prison. They’ve got really bad drugs in there.”

Of all the reasons she’d heard from criminals about not wanting to go to prison ‘bad drugs’ had never made that list.

“Alright, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll let you two go if you answer a few questions. Ok?” Kara asked.

“Ok... but what about the car?”

Kara finally lost her patience.

She flew in really close to their faces, her eyes glowing red. They could feel the heat emanating from them on their unkempt faces.

“Listen to me you nitwits, you two are going to get in your car. Then I’m going to take you somewhere where we can talk. If either of you try anything stupid, I’m going to drop the two of you in the middle of the ocean. Understood.” Kara never had to drop her voice to make herself sound threatening. When your eye can burn holes through mountains even the sweetest voice can be prove to be extremely convincing.

The two nodded their heads with such vigour that Kara thought they just might roll off their necks.

“Now get back to your car.” Kara growled.

Beevis and Eddie didn’t require any more motivation. They ran back to their car and locked themselves in. Supergirl picked it up and flew off.

 

***

 

Roughly fifteen minutes later Supergirl landed in an open field on the outskirts or National City. That day quite a few photos and videos of Supergirl flying while carrying a car were circulated on social media. A few blogs were also written speculating what might have happened. The reality of the situation had been rather frustrating and bizarre.

Kara let go of the car into the field from a height of about two feet. Given the condition of the car, it barely survived the drop. She could see Beevis and Eddie whispering to each other.

“Alright you two, out.” Kara ordered as she landed in front of the old Camaro.

The two men stepped out of the car grinning. Eddie was hiding something behind his back. Kara, using her X-ray vision, could see that it was bottle with some kind of a liquid inside. They stepped closer. She could have easily disarmed them at any moment but she was curious as to what they intended to do. When a person is impervious to most known weapons they tend to take a few chances.

“Do it man, do it.” Beevis prodded Eddie.

Eddie summoned up whatever little courage he possessed threw the liquid from the bottle at Supergirl. Kara instinctively raised her hands to protect herself but some of the liquid managed to splash on her face. She was a little stunned. Some of it went into her mouth. She inadvertently tasted it as she spat it out. It turned out to be plain water.

She stared back at them, not knowing what to say. They stared back at her waiting for something to happen. Maybe they were expecting her to melt. When they didn’t do anything for a few seconds Kara decided to wipe her face. They had a lot to do explain. Seeing that she was distracted the two masterminds decided to give it another shot.

“It's not doing anything, try it again.” Beevis prodded Eddie once more, who once again threw some water at Supergirl. This time Kara was taken by surprise since she was busy wiping her face with her cape. She was going to have to wash it once she got back. But before she could look up she got drenched again.

“What the fuck, stop throwing water at me.” Kara shouted.

“Why didn’t anything happen to you?” Eddie asked.

“Because I’m immune to water?” Kara replied. She sounded as confused as her two attackers.

“But it’s Holy Water.” Eddie said.

“What?” Kara was even more confused.

“Damn it man, that whatsapp message was wrong. Goddamn fake news. It’s an epidemic.” Beevis whispered loudly to Eddie.

“Ok, that’s it. You two are too stupid to be out on the streets. I’m taking you to the police and if they don’t take you, I’m dropping you off on an deserted island.”

The two junkies, now terrified, began to back away. Their only plan of defeating Supergirl had come to nought.

“No, no, no, wait. You said you wanted to know stuff. We know stuff. Ask us anything.” Eddie said as he threw the bottle on the ground and raised his arms in surrender.

Kara took a deep breath and decided to give it another go. This definitely wasn’t the greatest plan she’d come up with, but it was going to be fun talking about it with Barbara later.

“Alright, what do you know about the car thieves that have been stealing cars in that suburban neighbourhood?” She asked the two of them.

“What cars?” Beevis replied.

“OK, that’s it. You’re going to the cops.” Kara declared.

“No, no, no. We don’t know but we might know someone who might know what you want to know.”

Kara tried to make sense of the sentence.

“Who?”

“Powder.” Eddie said with a triumphant smile as if he’d just cured cancer.

“Who’s Powder?” Kara asked.

“Powder’s the man, dude. Powder knows everything, he know everyone. He knows them bankers on Wall Street. He knows all of Hollywood. He knows the Mayor too.” Eddie announced.

Beevis leaned in and whispered into Eddie’s ear.

“Oh yeah,” Eddie nodded and agreed with his friend, “He doesn’t know the Mayor, he knows the Mayor’s secretary.”

“I’m guessing Powder is a drug dealer.”

“Yeah man, he’s got all the good stuff.” The two junkies were almost salivating just thinking about the good stuff.

“Maybe this hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.” Supergirl thought.

“And where do I find this Powder?”

“At the golden arches.” Beevis shrugged and answered as if it was common knowledge.

“McDonald’s?” Kara tried to confirm.

“Yeah man, Powder loves those cheese burgers. I told him they weren’t good for him. I saw this documentary once, McDonald’s isn’t very good for your health.” Beevis tried to educate Supergirl.

“Yes, I’ve heard that too,” Kara replied with a frustrated sigh, “and so, which McDonald’s are we talking about?”

“The one at the Mall, where you were going to take us. You know the big blue one near that place where you picked us up.” Eddie explained.

Kara knew that was the best she was going to get. She was about to take off but realised that she was once again forgetting the details.

“And what does Powder look like?” Kara asked trying filling in the details.

“Oh, he’s like tall, man, like really tall... and big... and has beard, and tattoos. Oh and he’s got this sweet ride, man. He calls her Rosy. She his bike.”

Kara knew that she was on the lookout for a big biker.

“Well, you two didn’t turn out to be a complete waste of time. Thanks for the information.” Saying that she began to float up into the sky.

“Hey, what about us?”

“What about you?”

“How do we get back to the city?”

“You drive. The road’s right there.” Kara pointed to her right. The highway was barely twenty meters away.

Once again she began to take off and this time she felt a slight tug on her cape. She looked down and noticed it was Beevis.

“What?” She asked him. She was trying very hard to be patient with the two of them but they weren’t making it easy.

“Could you get us a couple of speeedballs from Powder. Tell him Eddie will get the green tomorrow.”

“What?” Kara said it louder than before.

“You know, speedballs, coke.” Beevis explained.

“I’m not buying you drugs.”

“Oh come on, we helped you didn’t we. It’s just a couple of speedballs.”

“No” she said emphatically.

“But you’re Supergirl, you’re supposed to help people.” Beevis moaned.

“Yes, help people. This does not fall under helping.”

“Aaaa.., this is discrimination.” Eddie said as he stepped forward.

“Yeah, this is..... this is Racism.” Beevis added. Throwing in the first “ism” he could think of.

“Drug addicts are not a race, neither is being an idiot.” Supergirl clarified, “and I’m not getting you drugs, no matter what you say.” She said as she pulled her cape out of his grip.

“Well then fuck you.” They both shouted angrily at her as Kara flew up into the sky.

“Well fuck you too.” Kara shouted back. She finally gave up on trying to play nice with the two numbskulls.

At first she’d thought that maybe it was the drugs that had affected their brain capacity but this entire conversation had proven to her that there wasn’t much there to begin with.

“And stop throwing holy water at me, I don’t need a fucking exorcism.” Supergirl screamed as she flew away looking for a man named Powder.

This was going to be a long day.

 


End file.
